A Favorite Southern Recipe

This morning I read a lovely recipe for bacon gravy at Civilla's Cyber Cafe that just made me ever so hungry... not that I desperately need to eat things of which the main ingredient is grease, but it's not my fault those are most of the best foods! I'd heard of sausage gravy, but not bacon, and bacon gravy sounds to die for.
MY favorite artery-clogging luxury is Wilted Lettuce. Very easy. Fry a "whole bunch" of bacon (exactly how much is up to you, but you want plenty of fat left in the skillet), remove the bacon and leave the fat. Snack on the bacon while tearing up your lettuce to fill a big salad bowl - romaine, not iceburg. Iceburg is mostly water and will turn out really gross. Add to the hot grease 1/4 c vinegar, 3/4 c water, and 2T of sugar, stir and bring to a rolling boil, then QUICKLY pour over the lettuce and stir until it's all covered. The heat "wilts" the lettuce, and it's just heavenly. All bacony and sweet and sour all at the same time. And you want to eat it before it cools too much!
You might have to play with the recipe to determine how sour and how sweet you want it, and to match the amount of "dressing" to the amount of lettuce.

And for my Orthodox friends, here is Wilted Lettuce for the fast!!!! Actually, the recipe (from Cooks.com) is designed to be vegan and kosher, but if you substitute canola for olive oil, it's also suitable for when you just have to have something fattening but it's a month yet until Pascha. I haven't tried it yet - you do the same thing as the above recipe, but brown the onions in place of the bacon.

2-3 heads leaf lettuce (Romaine, red leaf, etc.)
salt and pepper, to taste
1/4 to 1/2 cup vinegar (Kosher balsamic works best)
1/4 to 1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon to 1/4 cup sugar
3 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup finely chopped white or red onions
2 drops/splashes liquid smoke (optional)

This recipe is Kosher Pareve if made as instructed. Full, detailed instructions here.