This morning, I was going about doing dishes and laundry (yay me!) and there were a couple things we needed from the store for lunch, and I asked Husband if he would mind going to get them? Yep, he could do that, no problem. So I took a deep breath and casually mentioned, "You could take Kittyboy too..."
HE SAID YES - no protest whatsoever. "Sure honey, soon as I finish my coffee." Groceries and TAKING THE TWO-YEAR-OLD!! Pushing my luck, but I then asked, as I massaged my heart to restart it - "Can I send you with the WIC card...?" AND HE SAID YES!!!
He'll do some groceries if I ask. But he never takes Kittyboy. And he doesn't do WIC (it's "too complicated" and I'm "better at it"). And this morning he did all of that!!! OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS MAN!!!
I did a load of laundry, straightened up the bathroom, collected dishes from the family room and kitchen table, got some things out of the fridge, poured drinks into smaller pitchers to free up space in there, put away dry dishes, put away laundry, fed the Freds (the worm bin), filled the dish drainer with more clean dishes, took out two big bags of garbage, took out all the recycling, and called my mom to scream, "He went to get groceries and TOOK KITTYBOY WITH HIM!!!" She said, "Wow, how did you do that?" and I screamed, "I HAVE NO IDEA!!!"
Lest you get the wrong impression, it's not that my husband is at all lacking, as Husband or Daddy. But taking along the toddler to the store is MY thing. I'm "better at it". Same with WIC, I don't think he's picked up that since it was "so many cans of Enfamil". Usually the compromise when he's home is that I leave Kittyboy with him and get to go grocery shopping all by myself without thirty pounds of squirming child to wrestle in and out of the cart. But as helpful as that is... it doesn't get the housework done.
I was one HAPPY Hausfrau this morning!! And I was a Good Wife afterwards, too - I said nothing about him not taking my reusable bags, the fact that I had to go outside after he left and pick up the stuffed animal Kittyboy dropped out of the car, the fact that Husband had said HE would do the garbage last night, or that he forgot vinegar. I didn't even say, "Just so you know..." or "next time you go to the store..." I kept my happy trap SHUT (and he doesn't read my blog). It's amazing what little things actually don't bother you in the slightest when your husband just went above and beyond anything you expected. I got over an hour to get done whatever I wanted with no little gremlin toddler undoing it behind me - I can take the trash out. I can wait on vinegar.
I think I'm learning - slowly, but I'm learning. If I want help around the house, I need to make it obvious I'm pulling my weight first. If I'd been sitting on the couch in my pjs with my coffee and asked him to go out, I'm sure that conversation would have gone differently. I need to NOT say to myself "Well, he's home, might as well relax with him before he goes to work," because in the first place, the 40 hours a week that he's gone at work is not enough (DUH), and in the second place, why should he "work" on his off-time if I'm not?
My third resolution for Lent has been to NOT ask him for help if I can avoid it. I am a grown woman with ONE child, I should be able to keep a house. Well, okay, so there's a ton (seriously, if you weighed it all...) of catching up to do. I'm not good at this. I'm really bad at this. But I think it's disrespectful of the time he puts in at work (at a job I'd rather be shot than do) to ask him to help out more than the standard litterbox/garbage stuff, so long as I can avoid it. And as I experienced this morning - context makes all the difference.
And yes, I was very appreciative this morning - I'm not all that expressive, but I lost count of how many times I squealed, "I love you!!!" after he got home. Literally, lost count. Must have been every few minutes. So hopefully he'll do it again! And even if he doesn't, he did it ONCE, and I'm thankful for that. With God's help, I will continue to be thankful for that - and will continue to become a Better Wife.
+ Only with His help!