It may be bread, but is it food...?

I had killer heartburn last night, and Husband told me I had to eat something to absorb the acid (?), and got me a slice of bread. Last time I bought bread, I accidentally grabbed white. We haven't bought white since sometime in my pregnancy, and so I'd completely forgotten - that stuff has no flavor. None.
It worked for stopping the heartburn, so I'm guessing that bread is to stomach acid what sawdust is to grade-school vomit. The sawdust might have had more texture, though.
It has been about two and a half years since I bought white bread on purpose, because when I was pregnant, Kittyboy pressed on my stomach in such a way that after a few bites, I would feel full to the point of thinking I would throw up. Since I was eating so little at a time, I was trying to make every bite count for as much as possible, and the nutrition info on the generic wheat bread was marginally healthier than white. So we started buying only wheat, rye, oatmeal and multigrain breads, and stuck with that ever since, until last Saturday or whenever it was that I passed a display of bread with a sale sign and grabbed without reading. Kittyboy doesn't care WHAT bread he has, so long as it has peanut butter on it, so no big deal.
Except, have you ever taken apart a piece of white bread? It just doesn't look like food. Husband was laughing at me, as I sat in bed drowsily shredding my slice of bread and poking at it. It really had NO FLAVOR whatsoever, and something about the perfectly uniform and uniformly distributed little air holes just looked reeeeaaally fake. It was like eating a finely textured sponge, only a sponge might have had a flavor. It was very strange.
Next time I buy bread, I AM paying attention. Kittyboy might not care, but - ew - I do now.