I've been trying to think, all this week (as I put meat in recipes where it wasn't before, trying to remove temptation from the freezer), what precisely do I "resolve to solve" this Lent? All that's come to mind is a vague "Becoming a better wife and mother". Time to break down the vague into specifics.
What would I do if I were a better wife and mother?
To be a better mother:
As the one at home with Kittyboy for 9 hours a day, I should be instructing him more consistently in matters of faith. Two is not at all too young to learn about God and praying - he can make the sign of the cross, after all. And that is the simplest "prayer" that is. So I need to start actually scheduling prayer into our days - time to read a Bible story, look at and talk about some icons, and pick one of the many short, simple, memorable prayers I know to teach him. Shorter than the Lord's Prayer, more like "My hope is the Father, my refuge is the Son, my protection is the Holy Spirit - O Holy Trinity, glory to You." Not that Kittyboy can say ANY of those words yet, but as he hears it repeated, he will one day. Apart from the Jesus Prayer (Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me), that's about as basic as it gets. He's got a preschool Bible, but he keeps bringing me the grownup ones, because they have crosses on them, so if he'll sit for an abbreviated and skimmed-over first chapter of Genesis, I'll read from the grownup one. Some of the Psalms are really short, too. Psalm 117 - "Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles! Laud him, all you peoples! For His merciful kindness is great toward us, and the truth of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!" TWO VERSES. I wouldn't even need to find it, I could memorize that in a few minutes (and will, this evening).
And I need to work on getting him to recognize and sign JESUS. He gets Mary - he TOTALLY gets Mary. During Advent I sat down with him, the Nativity figures, the icon of the Nativity, and an icon of the Theotokos and Christ, to discuss who these People were and what Christmas was, and he figured out lickety-split that the beautiful woman with the baby was a MOMMY. And oh, what a Mommy she is, she's so beautiful and looks so loving, and she always has a Baby in her arms, and he likes babies too, and she must be just the most wonderful Mommy ever. He loves her. So... yeah. He has the concept of the Mother of God down pat. After all, it's the most basic relationship any baby understands - that of child and Mother. Now we start on GOD.
To be a better wife:
When I read Proverbs 31, I feel woefully inadequate. It's not that the wife described there is Superwoman - she does have servants, handmaids, to help her in her work. But that woman KNOWS what she is doing, and is mistress of her domain. She is fully capable of running her household, and knows it, and so she doesn't hesitate to ask, "Which should I do first, the dishes or the laundry? Should I pick up the toys or put away the clean clothes? Should I clean this room as it is, or rearrange it first so that it's more efficient, then clean it when I know where I want to keep everything? And how am I ever going to get all this flax spun and woven?" My mind is incredibly disorganized and my house reflects that - yet inwardly, I am a perfectionist. The combination of those two things basically guarantees that anything ever really gets done - I know that I want everything just so, but I can't decide what to do when or how or in what order, and so I end up doing NOTHING. I don't consider myself capable of doing what is really MY JOB, and so I don't try. It's not an excuse, but there you have it.
I just thought of something else - she takes pride in what she does. Housework is not what she does while staying home with the children in lieu of a job. Her family is her life's work, and her household - in which the children grow and are nurtured, to which the husband comes home at night to rest - is by extension also her life's work.
I have thought of my household as something of which I would be proud, if only it were clean and well-run and in order. Perhaps it would be cleaner, better run, and in better order if I took greater pride in MY life's work.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas - Kala Christouyena! (Literally, "Happy Christ's Birth")
Kittyboy is officially two. He was a very good boy in church this morning, as his mother stumbled through a Christmas Orthros and Liturgy. Services that only come once a year are NEVER done without a comedy of errors, substituting Christmas hymns in the wrong places, or forgetting them entirely. At least I was not the only one singing, there were two sopranos and an alto in the congregation. And there actually WAS a congregation, maybe a dozen people or so. It wasn't Husband and I and Father, the way it's been at least one year that we've been here. That alone was a lovely Christmas present. Although, I didn't get to do my favorite Christmas hymn in English. So here it is!
"Today, the Virgin bears Him the Transcendant One, and the earth offers a cave to Him who is beyond access. Angels, along with shepherds glorify Him. The Magi make their way to Him by a star. For a new child has been born for us, the God before all ages." (Christmas Kontakion, in the Third Tone).
I also came home to every housewife's Christmas wish fulfilled - sort of. Husband's brother's family is visiting (Eric et al), and while we were at church, instead of sleeping in, Eric DID ALL MY DISHES. I had apologized for the state of my kitchen, and they said it wasn't like I had much time to get stuff done with a toddler running around, and then this morning I came home from church to the sound of dishes clattering and water running. I screamed, "NOOOO! Bad Eric!" He said it was Christmas, what the heck, why not. Merry Christmas!
After his post-church nap, Kittyboy opened his presents. He has a whole set of animals now, parents and offspring of horses, goats, pigs, sheep, and cattle, and he immediately added them to the Nativity scene. Very generous of him. It was a very full stable.
He has also been given what I suppose is every two-year-old's dream - a battery powered four-wheeler. It's an ATV for the preschool set. One-wheel drive and a cruising speed of two miles an hour, courtesy of his Uncle Eric. It is the duty of uncles, I suppose, to give the "somewhat dangerous but incredibly cool" gifts. It's their JOB, like his Uncle Carel buying him his first pocketknife for his first birthday (to be given at some point well into the future). Husband put Kittyboy's little hand on the button that makes it go and pressed, and the thing jumped forward. Ha HA! Kittyboy giggled, and giggled, and giggled, as he lurched across the living room floor. Yeah, that's going to see a lot of use!
Sooo.... we had decent attendance in church this morning, all my dishes are done, and Kittyboy can chase the cats at 2 mph.
Merry Christmas to all!
Kittyboy is officially two. He was a very good boy in church this morning, as his mother stumbled through a Christmas Orthros and Liturgy. Services that only come once a year are NEVER done without a comedy of errors, substituting Christmas hymns in the wrong places, or forgetting them entirely. At least I was not the only one singing, there were two sopranos and an alto in the congregation. And there actually WAS a congregation, maybe a dozen people or so. It wasn't Husband and I and Father, the way it's been at least one year that we've been here. That alone was a lovely Christmas present. Although, I didn't get to do my favorite Christmas hymn in English. So here it is!
"Today, the Virgin bears Him the Transcendant One, and the earth offers a cave to Him who is beyond access. Angels, along with shepherds glorify Him. The Magi make their way to Him by a star. For a new child has been born for us, the God before all ages." (Christmas Kontakion, in the Third Tone).
I also came home to every housewife's Christmas wish fulfilled - sort of. Husband's brother's family is visiting (Eric et al), and while we were at church, instead of sleeping in, Eric DID ALL MY DISHES. I had apologized for the state of my kitchen, and they said it wasn't like I had much time to get stuff done with a toddler running around, and then this morning I came home from church to the sound of dishes clattering and water running. I screamed, "NOOOO! Bad Eric!" He said it was Christmas, what the heck, why not. Merry Christmas!
After his post-church nap, Kittyboy opened his presents. He has a whole set of animals now, parents and offspring of horses, goats, pigs, sheep, and cattle, and he immediately added them to the Nativity scene. Very generous of him. It was a very full stable.
He has also been given what I suppose is every two-year-old's dream - a battery powered four-wheeler. It's an ATV for the preschool set. One-wheel drive and a cruising speed of two miles an hour, courtesy of his Uncle Eric. It is the duty of uncles, I suppose, to give the "somewhat dangerous but incredibly cool" gifts. It's their JOB, like his Uncle Carel buying him his first pocketknife for his first birthday (to be given at some point well into the future). Husband put Kittyboy's little hand on the button that makes it go and pressed, and the thing jumped forward. Ha HA! Kittyboy giggled, and giggled, and giggled, as he lurched across the living room floor. Yeah, that's going to see a lot of use!
Sooo.... we had decent attendance in church this morning, all my dishes are done, and Kittyboy can chase the cats at 2 mph.
Merry Christmas to all!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Of Sleepovers and Train Rides
We had a loooong weekend - and it started Thursday!
Thursday, Husband drove us to Bartonville for my mom to pick us up and take us back to my parents' house. Kittyboy, car seat, play pen for sleeping, and stuff for a three-day visit. We would be at their house Thursday, leave on the train Friday for the suburbs to visit cousins and come back that night, and then Saturday Husband would drive up to bring us back. LONG weekend.
Went well, of course - my sister and brother, Auntie K and Uncle S, were thrilled to see their little nephew. And he was thrilled to have his entourage following him from room to room! All went well until it came time to sleep - it took him some time crying first. To be expected, it's a different place, different bed, and no daddy. But then at 10:30, he woke up again - wide awake! NOT going back to sleep! He ran laps of the dining room, he rocked in the rocking chair, he ran some more laps. I took him into MY bed, he would sit quietly until it became apparent that I wasn't going to amuse him, and then he got down to play again. This lasted about an hour before I got the idea of making him his own bed on the floor - he hadn't slept in the playpen since he was still in his crib, so maybe that was part of the problem. Mommy, that's not my bed! I'm a BIG boy! So I folded up blankets and sleeping bags, made a bed, and wrapped him up in a sheet like he's used to. This was followed by crying from him and shushing from me and my mom, and by about midnight, he was asleep enough that she could leave the room and I could lay down. What a night.
The next morning, we got on a train for our First Train Ride Ever. He's barely even SEEN trains, but for one time a month and a half ago that we were at my parents' house (they live two blocks from tracks) and a train went by. Uncle Yan and I pointed at it and signed Train again and again until Kittyboy did it too. But since then, I hadn't talked much about trains or the fact that we'd be riding on one, and the couple trains we'd seen since had been when we were in the car and I couldn't sign. So Friday morning, we were in the train as it was pulling away, and I said "Look, the train's moving now!" and he signed Train!!! He HAD put it together! The thing we were in was the same as the long, slow freight he'd watched a month and a half prior. He is so smart! And he was a very good traveler. I had overpacked my two bags and next time, I know I don't need as much. Just a couple books and his clunky wooden rosary around his neck. He finally has his own children's rosary - mine has been VERY well-loved, and now can be restrung and put up. I surprised him with his on the train, and he was very happy with how bright the colors are! (It hasn't been rained on or sun-bleached... yet). So he had a bright new version of one of his favorite security objects, and very fast scenery going by outside, and "Hop On Pop" to be read over and over and over and over, and that was pretty much all we needed!
My grandparents picked us up, and we had a wonderful visit. His cousins were very happy to see him, and I got to snuggle his cousin JT, who is just 11 months old and SOO precious. He and Kittyboy got along okay, minus some tugs-of-war over that bright and colorful rosary (I think Kittyboy will get him one for Christmas), and so long as I was not physically holding JT. That was Verboten, by order of Kittyboy. We'll be spending a LOT of time with younger babies, and me holding younger babies in his presence, before we have another. The first time I was holding JT in my lap on the floor, my son came up making distressed noises, grabbed his cousin by his shoulders and head, and tried to pull him out of my lap! I told him no and made him let go, and he grabbed my arms to try and pull ME away. It ended up with JT in his mommy's lap crying, and Kittyboy in mine making distressed noises every time his cousin cried. He didn't MEAN to make the baby cry, but I am HIS mommy after all, and it just wasn't fair for me to hold another baby, and couldn't JT understand that?! - is what he was thinking. It was sad. Apparently Kittyboy is quite jealous, and we'll have to work on that. He had a blast, though, watching his girl cousins run around and around and around from the kitchen to the hallway to the livingroom and back. First he was chasing them, then they were chasing him, then he decided they were just too silly for him and came and sat down with me to watch them. It was absolutely hysterical, because he would hear their voices coming closer and fall over laughing before they even came into the room. Their mother and I were laughing so hard, I was crying. It was a blast. When we were leaving, I picked up JT for a goodbye hug, Kittyboy saw that from across the room, and came trotting over making distressed noises again. I gave JT to his mommy and cuddled my boy, and told him that HE is my little boy and nothing changes that, but Mommy can hold other babies too! We've got our work cut out for us before we have another.
He zonked out in my grandparents' car on the way to the train station, and slept from there until our stop. Close to thirty pounds of dead weight on me for an hour and a half. My legs were sore - my back was aching - my arms were DEAD. But at least he slept well that night.
Saturday morning after breakfast, he grabbed his coat, handed it to me, and went to look out the window, so we thought he wanted to go out and play. After the whole long, involved process of getting him ready, his uncle took him out and they came back in again shortly after. All they had done was walk around the car while Kittyboy pulled at the door handles. Methinks he was requesting to go home! He communicates very, very well for not talking. (And his babbling sounds more varied and conversational every day.)
He was sooooooo happy when his daddy came through the door! And this morning, SO happy to wake in his own bed!
Thursday, Husband drove us to Bartonville for my mom to pick us up and take us back to my parents' house. Kittyboy, car seat, play pen for sleeping, and stuff for a three-day visit. We would be at their house Thursday, leave on the train Friday for the suburbs to visit cousins and come back that night, and then Saturday Husband would drive up to bring us back. LONG weekend.
Went well, of course - my sister and brother, Auntie K and Uncle S, were thrilled to see their little nephew. And he was thrilled to have his entourage following him from room to room! All went well until it came time to sleep - it took him some time crying first. To be expected, it's a different place, different bed, and no daddy. But then at 10:30, he woke up again - wide awake! NOT going back to sleep! He ran laps of the dining room, he rocked in the rocking chair, he ran some more laps. I took him into MY bed, he would sit quietly until it became apparent that I wasn't going to amuse him, and then he got down to play again. This lasted about an hour before I got the idea of making him his own bed on the floor - he hadn't slept in the playpen since he was still in his crib, so maybe that was part of the problem. Mommy, that's not my bed! I'm a BIG boy! So I folded up blankets and sleeping bags, made a bed, and wrapped him up in a sheet like he's used to. This was followed by crying from him and shushing from me and my mom, and by about midnight, he was asleep enough that she could leave the room and I could lay down. What a night.
The next morning, we got on a train for our First Train Ride Ever. He's barely even SEEN trains, but for one time a month and a half ago that we were at my parents' house (they live two blocks from tracks) and a train went by. Uncle Yan and I pointed at it and signed Train again and again until Kittyboy did it too. But since then, I hadn't talked much about trains or the fact that we'd be riding on one, and the couple trains we'd seen since had been when we were in the car and I couldn't sign. So Friday morning, we were in the train as it was pulling away, and I said "Look, the train's moving now!" and he signed Train!!! He HAD put it together! The thing we were in was the same as the long, slow freight he'd watched a month and a half prior. He is so smart! And he was a very good traveler. I had overpacked my two bags and next time, I know I don't need as much. Just a couple books and his clunky wooden rosary around his neck. He finally has his own children's rosary - mine has been VERY well-loved, and now can be restrung and put up. I surprised him with his on the train, and he was very happy with how bright the colors are! (It hasn't been rained on or sun-bleached... yet). So he had a bright new version of one of his favorite security objects, and very fast scenery going by outside, and "Hop On Pop" to be read over and over and over and over, and that was pretty much all we needed!
My grandparents picked us up, and we had a wonderful visit. His cousins were very happy to see him, and I got to snuggle his cousin JT, who is just 11 months old and SOO precious. He and Kittyboy got along okay, minus some tugs-of-war over that bright and colorful rosary (I think Kittyboy will get him one for Christmas), and so long as I was not physically holding JT. That was Verboten, by order of Kittyboy. We'll be spending a LOT of time with younger babies, and me holding younger babies in his presence, before we have another. The first time I was holding JT in my lap on the floor, my son came up making distressed noises, grabbed his cousin by his shoulders and head, and tried to pull him out of my lap! I told him no and made him let go, and he grabbed my arms to try and pull ME away. It ended up with JT in his mommy's lap crying, and Kittyboy in mine making distressed noises every time his cousin cried. He didn't MEAN to make the baby cry, but I am HIS mommy after all, and it just wasn't fair for me to hold another baby, and couldn't JT understand that?! - is what he was thinking. It was sad. Apparently Kittyboy is quite jealous, and we'll have to work on that. He had a blast, though, watching his girl cousins run around and around and around from the kitchen to the hallway to the livingroom and back. First he was chasing them, then they were chasing him, then he decided they were just too silly for him and came and sat down with me to watch them. It was absolutely hysterical, because he would hear their voices coming closer and fall over laughing before they even came into the room. Their mother and I were laughing so hard, I was crying. It was a blast. When we were leaving, I picked up JT for a goodbye hug, Kittyboy saw that from across the room, and came trotting over making distressed noises again. I gave JT to his mommy and cuddled my boy, and told him that HE is my little boy and nothing changes that, but Mommy can hold other babies too! We've got our work cut out for us before we have another.
He zonked out in my grandparents' car on the way to the train station, and slept from there until our stop. Close to thirty pounds of dead weight on me for an hour and a half. My legs were sore - my back was aching - my arms were DEAD. But at least he slept well that night.
Saturday morning after breakfast, he grabbed his coat, handed it to me, and went to look out the window, so we thought he wanted to go out and play. After the whole long, involved process of getting him ready, his uncle took him out and they came back in again shortly after. All they had done was walk around the car while Kittyboy pulled at the door handles. Methinks he was requesting to go home! He communicates very, very well for not talking. (And his babbling sounds more varied and conversational every day.)
He was sooooooo happy when his daddy came through the door! And this morning, SO happy to wake in his own bed!
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